A Story about Racism
Today, during one of our family prayer calls, my aunt told us about the time she went to the dentist with my grandmother to get braces. This was in the late 1950’s, before the Civil Rights movement went into full effect. My aunt’s baby teeth were gone, her permanent ones were in, and it was clear that she was going to need braces. The only dentist in our small, southern town was white, so he was everyone’s dentist. He looked at my aunt’s mouth and told my grandmother that he “would rather stick his hand up a horse’s ‘backside’ rather than put my hands in an ‘n-word’s’ mouth”. Because this was the prayer call, she gave us this edited version.
There it is. Racism in one paragraph. No more, no less. I have the gift (or curse?) of seeing things from a global perspective. When I was in college, one of my professors pulled me aside and helped me on my path to taking a minimalist approach to my writing. She said that unlike her other students, I could see the landscape from the sky, and I tend to write about everything that I see. She advised that moving forward, I should pick one thing to focus on and write about that. This lesson has served me well in my overall life. Now, I am risk averse. I only permit myself to splurge on good meals. I believe in “one [life partner], one house, one car, one credit card” — thank you Coach Herm Edwards for the paraphrased quote!
I say all that to say this: after hearing my aunt’s story, there were many things I wanted to write about including mental health (my aunt was forever changed after this event), customer service (he could have been blackballed by the black community), good parenting vs bully parenting (he could have had his ass kicked in his own office), etc. The curse of having a global perspective when writing is that I am often bombarded with different paths to consider and find myself unable to decide which one to take. Unfortunately, this inability to move in any direction is often the cause of my writing blocks. In a world where a constant news cycle spits out no less than three scandals a day, my mind gets cluttered with how many vantage points I can consider for each infraction. Truthfully, it is exhausting! But, the gift of having a global perspective when writing is that when I see the one path to take, I don’t deviate from it, and walk it through until I have reached its end.
My aunt’s story is about racism and I know three things about it. 1) Racism is ugly. My aunt’s trip to the dentist’s office was an ugly one and should have NEVER happened to a woman who I know is one of the most beautiful people God created. I will never know another beauty like her! Not ever. It enraged me to see the hurt and shock in my daughters’ faces when they heard her tell that story. A little later, my husband actual came to me, put his hand on my shoulder and told me to let it go. He’s good at knowing when I am angry even when I’m not yet sure of it. What am I sure of? I’m sure that racism is ugly, and it makes everyone feel ugly. And, angry. Another thing I know for sure is that anger is a motivator, which is why I’m writing this now. This is me letting it go — putting anger into action and letting my words live and have their being.
Racism caused that dentist, the only one in a small town, to not provide a service to my family. Anyone who has had to pay for dental work, especially braces, knows that it is expensive. So, instead of making a profit, he decided he would rather receive no money at all. No money?? Just in case you’re missing the point, permit me to refer you to the movie Life, starring Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. There is a scene where their characters stop at a diner while driving through the South to grab something to eat. The proprietors take the stance of demanding they leave instead of serving them the pie they asked to buy. Slyly, Murphy’s character pulls out a large wad of cash and asks how much was needed to turn a “whites only pie” to an “n-word pie”. The proprietor then pulls out a shotgun and tells them she’d turn them into “n-word pie”. Ergo, …
2) Racism is stupid. Now, here is where my vantage point expands from a local to a global one, well, maybe just a national one when considering the United States. Time and time again, this country has demonstrated that it would rather take money from and invest in one race, rather than in all Americans, which makes absolutely no sense, especially if you have an enterprising mind. Consider this: if you have a group of people that has worked for free in agriculture, construction, food & beverage, fashion, healthcare, childcare, etc., why wouldn’t you pay them for their services upon the end of slavery? No one would have had to be trained and could have literally gone to work on Day 1. But instead of letting the fruits of Reconstruction flourish throughout this country, racism was nourished. Confederate statues were put up to rewrite history throughout a region of the country that lost the Civil War, and yet chose to celebrate their fallen as virtuous, at best, and victorious, at worst. The decision to continue the lie has harmed the entire country. This country won’t take the time to acknowledge racism exists and eliminate it. Its government has chosen to let black people die and ignorance live. Shit is stupid.
3) Racism is stingy. If you ask many black Americans, we will tell you that apart from being left alone to just breathe, live, and thrive, we just want equal or same. We want access to the privileges outlined in the Bill of Rights. And, I don’t give a damn if “they weren’t written with black people in mind”. We didn’t ask to come here. My ancestors were stolen and brought to a stolen land to work on for free. We don’t want yours; we want our own. Hell, we’re owed that much! Throughout this country’s history, black Americans have fought in every war. We are still fighting for voting rights for all. Our communities are over policed, underfunded, and redrawn over and over again, until we are squeezed onto little pieces of land that many are fighting to get away from due to overcrowding. We just want air — something that is still free (at least, for now it is). We want to breathe.
I don’t know how this ends, but every day this country can begin to do something decent. This administration does not know what the word decent means, and therefore, cannot do anything decent. Until Election Day 2020, when we can vote for matters that will heal and unite us, we will need to remember what racism is and fight for what it is not.
